San Diego Vacation Blog Day #1: I’m going back to Cali…but first, we have to get there

I know it’s been a long time since I blogged. I guess I haven’t much to talk to about. Well, I am working on a blog about another topic, but I have to finish reading a book first. So, you’ll have to wait on that blog. In the time being, I got a vacation blog for you. The Wife and I are on vacation again. I say again like we vacation all the time, lol. Anyway…on with the blog.

Well, the time has finally come. After almost 3 years we have returned to the greatest place in the world….San Diego. That’s right. I’m coming home!!! Well, for a week that is. The wife and I are on vacation for the next week, and we’re spending in the best possible place.

I have to admit, when we first started planning this trip I was “excited” about coming. Not like I didn’t care or anything; I think it was more because the trip was so far away, other life crap occupied more of my time and emotions. But I to tell you, as this past week went by, day by day, I got so excited I almost couldn’t contain myself. Once Friday came around I felt like I was going to burst.
After a late night of packing the Wife and I were up at 5am to head to the airport. The Wife made a point of asking me the night before to make an extra effort not to get frustrated at the airport. She knows I get frustrated with people, especially airport employees. I always get agitated at the security check, not unlike most people. But for me it’s just a little extra aggravating because I have to always do a few extra steps of the “stripping down” process. When most people just have to take off their shoes and metal objects, I also have to break my CPAP machine (a machine that helps people breathe while they sleep). I have to get a whole other tray, and I feel like it takes forever. Then I get all frustrated because I feel like someone behind me is going to get pissed because I’m taking longer. Ugh….it’s a whole ordeal. In addition to all the above that is going on in my head, I started to get nervous about the possibility of the now infamous “pat-downs.” Luckily, when we reached the security check point everything went smooth, and no one attempted to pat me down.

To save on money the Wife and I chose a flight that was, in a word, inconvenient. Our flight was a straight shot from Virginia to California. The problem is that the “straight shot” landed us in Los Angeles, not San Diego. And we had a 3 hour layover to boot in LA. Yeah, that’s right. We would be sitting no more that and hour and a half away from our final destination, for 3 hours. But let me back up; I’m getting ahead of myself.

While we were sitting eating breakfast I had a mini-celebrity citing. I saw Aries Spears walking around Dulles airport. What do you mean who is Aries spears? Only one of the funniest cast members of the now defunct comedy sketch show Mad TV. Does that help you? I know, I know, saying celebrity citing is even a stretch for such a C-List (at best) person such as a Mad TV cast member. But hey, in my book, I put it up there with seeing all of The New Kids on The Block in the Barbados airport. I could care less either way. At least Aries might do some funny ass impersonations for me. What the hell are The Over The Hill Kids going to do for me; break a hip while trying to do The Right Stuff dance? You know the really sad part was? Aries looked like he ate Will Sasso (another cast member from Mad TV. Their version of Chris Farley). Seriously. He looked like he gained a 100 pounds.

It was finally time to board the plane. I know I’m not breaking any news here when I say flights suck. The chairs are uncomfortable, the food (which you now have to pay for) sucks, and most times, if you’re lucky enough to get to watch a movie, they suck too. Unless you’re lucky enough to be like the very few in this world, and fly first class. They weren’t kidding in Jerry Maguire when they said, “first class use to be a better meal. Now, it’s a better life.” As we passed through the doorway of the cabin I saw Mr. Spears sitting right up front in first class. So, at least I was comforted by the fact that even though is career is in the toilet, and he’s packed on almost a whole other person in weight, at least he gets to sit his fat unknown butt in first class.
Once we found our seats the Wife and I got not one, but two instant surprises sure to make our long 6 hour trek to CA oh so much fun. First, the lady sitting in the window seat was a complete biatch!! She was so fidgety and could not get comfortable to save her life. And every time she moved, she mad some really angry sounds like all of us around her were the cause of her discomfort. Second, I think we the whole Jeff Gordon fan club sitting behind us. That’s right, we had some good ole rootin’ tootin’, NASCAR watchin’, chaw spittin’, combined IQ of 27 havin’ people sitting behind, and all around us. The whole flight they would shout complete nonsense statements to each other, and talk about “this here flyin’ machine work.” Oh my dear lord, I think I became dumber just by being around them.

I prayed….for a lot of things on that flight, but most of all for some decent movies to watch as all the “Southern Educated” conversations around me were killing me. And…..the good Lord found it fit to leave a brother hangin’….thanks bro, good lookin’ out. The first movie was Life As We Know It (starring Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel. While most time I would rather shoot myself in the face than watch this movie, it was the lesser of two evils. Although, I will say the highlight of this film was ironically seeing that two of the smaller cast members were also former Mad TV cast members (one the aforementioned Will Sasso). I had the urge to sneak my way up to first class and ask Aries, “What, these guys couldn’t pull and strings and get you a nice non-speaking part in the movie? But I figured he would not take that comment well. The second movie was Letter to Juliet, and I actually did attempt to shoot myself in the face instead of watching this film, but my plot was thwarted by a sky marshal.

Some six lovely hours later we landed in one of two places known as “the armpits of America,” Los Angeles, CA to be more exact. I say two places because you can only have two armpits. So for America it’s Los Angeles and New Jersey. This is where our 3 hour layover started. Man, it was almost as brutal as the 6 hour flight. Stupid people everywhere!! And to boot, the Wife and I became so bored we nearly lost it.

The only thing that kept me going was new found obsession; my new Android phone. Good Lord I think it is the greatest thing ever invented. For some time now I have constantly given the Wife crap for being obsessed with her new Ipod Touch and all her “apps.” But let me tell you what, I take it all back now. This thing is AWESOME!! It can do everything!!! It’s about two seconds away from being able to give me a quicky when the Wife is not around….and who knows, it might have an app for that too.

At one point I was so bored I decided to download the “Star Wars Light Saber app” and mess with the Wife. We were sitting there quietly, when all of the sudden I let the Light Saber rip. I was so loud and caught the Wife of guard. Like a 5 year old I started moving the phone all around and the phone responded by making the noises of clashing light sabers. I had the look of a little kid on my face….and the Wife aptly responded by saying, “I don’t even know you.
We finally reached San Diego, and I could have been happier. Everything was great. Even dealing with the people at the rent-a-car place was great, and I hate dealing with those people. I don’t know, maybe it was just the California vibe flowing through me again. Even when we reached the hotel we got to upgrade our room for no cost from a room with 2 queen beds, to a room with a king bed. Nice!!

Just one problem. Once we reached our room and started getting settled in, we started noticing that the room was a “bit different” than any other room we had been before. It’s shape was just, I don’t know, off a bit. The first thing we noticed that the bathroom was huge, but the sink was outside in the hallway and not in the bathroom like usual. And the reason why the bathroom was so big was because the shower took up most the floor space. Speaking of the shower, all that was there to let you know it was a shower was the curtain hanging from the ceiling. The rest of it was just a wide open space, and a bench. It was weird.

I took a shower later that evening and I found myself thinking, “Man, this is a lot of room in here. And why is there a bench in here? I mean there is so much space in here someone could be in like, I don’t know, a wheelchair and still fit in here.” And then it hit me. We didn’t “really” get an upgrade, we got moved into an open “handicap accessible room.” Now it all made sense, the sink on the outside, all the room etc etc.

We ended the evening by going to our friends Dean and Lotty’s for dinner and great conversation. It was so good to see old friends, especially after such a long time. Overall, day #1 was kind of eventful. Here’s to hoping for a week filled with great stories.

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